please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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