Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Success! We fucked roommates!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
