I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
