i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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