i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize