Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
