dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
