The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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