That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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