doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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