dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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