But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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