dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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