ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You made out with two different species that night
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
