so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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