He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
