I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
