Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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