I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
