Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
