I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
