If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
