I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up under a house in Key West
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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