After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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