I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
this is an emotional support booty call
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
