Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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