a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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