I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I showed him my bush... on skype.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
