I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize