no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
