so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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