put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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