I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
