i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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