a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
