I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
