So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
