we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need to align my fucking chakras
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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