why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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