is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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