I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
