i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
