If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize