If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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