I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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