week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
