I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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