Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
