She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
