No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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