My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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