I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
