Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
