OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
