The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
