Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
