I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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