I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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