You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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