let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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