I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize