Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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