May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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