Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine

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  (248): i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine http://tfl.nu/gbjn
  Replies (4) Good night (1454) Bad night (585)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.

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  (516): i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese. http://tfl.nu/t7g1
  Replies (22) Good night (2943) Bad night (828)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts

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  (908): I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts http://tfl.nu/1w8r
  Replies (28) Good night (5092) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..

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  (641): i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door.. http://tfl.nu/c547
  Replies (20) Good night (693) Bad night (4386)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family

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  (503): If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family http://tfl.nu/rf5e
  Replies (7) Good night (3060) Bad night (951)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.

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  (401): i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house. http://tfl.nu/foqe
  Replies (7) Good night (1318) Bad night (1616)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  there are ass prints on the hood of my car.

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  (601): there are ass prints on the hood of my car. http://tfl.nu/hwv7
  Replies (10) Good night (3113) Bad night (1063)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.

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  (309): It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise. http://tfl.nu/xykk
  Replies (5) Good night (2082) Bad night (1206)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans

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  (610): Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans http://tfl.nu/llf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses

  (770): View more from Georgia

  We'll talk about it later...

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  (478): How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses (770): We'll talk about it later... http://tfl.nu/vxl3
  Replies (2) Good night (977) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.

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  (919): Its like I've been given a sexual blank check. http://tfl.nu/9gvj
  Replies (0) Good night (682) Bad night (248)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...

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  (520): My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket... http://tfl.nu/zba4
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.

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  (+81): When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons. http://tfl.nu/bw9q
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices

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  (306): yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices http://tfl.nu/7tdp
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

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  (212): Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging http://tfl.nu/88q4
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (271)

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