Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her

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(208): She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her http://tfl.nu/p4cv

Replies (22) Good night (894) Bad night (2240)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel

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(704): I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel http://tfl.nu/5qbt

Replies (9) Good night (3485) Bad night (823)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.

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(773): Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best. http://tfl.nu/s8cg

Replies (58) Good night (5858) Bad night (781)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.

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(717): No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon. http://tfl.nu/gt7r

Replies (43) Good night (969) Bad night (4077)
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(818): View more from California

I just ran into the couch, vagina first.

(1-818): View more from California

I hope you got dinner out of it

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(818): I just ran into the couch, vagina first. (1-818): I hope you got dinner out of it http://tfl.nu/uzwb

Replies (15) Good night (4319) Bad night (940)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me

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(973): i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me http://tfl.nu/lmdm

Replies (20) Good night (6674) Bad night (1135)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.

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(504): He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life. http://tfl.nu/mz8p

Replies (7) Good night (3644) Bad night (957)
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(562): View more from California

I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset

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(562): I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset http://tfl.nu/nrla

Replies (6) Good night (3298) Bad night (1330)
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(971): View more from Oregon

No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,

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(971): No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge, http://tfl.nu/hq9f

Replies (19) Good night (4538) Bad night (1150)
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(509): View more from Washington

My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.

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(509): My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina. http://tfl.nu/xxcl

Replies (9) Good night (3181) Bad night (1293)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite

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(573): I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite http://tfl.nu/v7zy

Replies (6) Good night (1459) Bad night (1575)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?

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(952): Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number? http://tfl.nu/tc09

Replies (12) Good night (1415) Bad night (610)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.

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(908): I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country. http://tfl.nu/dr7f

Replies (3) Good night (946) Bad night (319)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?

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(304): watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him? http://tfl.nu/cta0

Replies (3) Good night (859) Bad night (555)
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(360): View more from Washington

You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.

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(360): You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it. http://tfl.nu/4bwy

Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (317)

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