No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
no that's ok