Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.

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  (248): Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical. http://tfl.nu/ih7z
  Replies (12) Good night (800) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (2230) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i

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  (650): the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i <3 spencer pratt" tattoo... http://tfl.nu/08eh
  Replies (17) Good night (606) Bad night (2055)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!

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  (530): I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds! http://tfl.nu/6diw
  Replies (62) Good night (6707) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life

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  (914): Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life http://tfl.nu/ivqd
  Replies (29) Good night (4860) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"

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  (202): He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!" http://tfl.nu/yfbj
  Replies (19) Good night (6618) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

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  (608): we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment http://tfl.nu/hmt1
  Replies (17) Good night (1135) Bad night (4781)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am

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  (240): seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am http://tfl.nu/z6p6
  Replies (7) Good night (2690) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.

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  (604): the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/g0q9
  Replies (2) Good night (2728) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.

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  (337): I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be. http://tfl.nu/u40q
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.

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  (616): He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/c5ac
  Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (1323)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.

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  (513): I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old. http://tfl.nu/lqlu
  Replies (6) Good night (483) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.

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  (360): I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance. (1-360): It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot. http://tfl.nu/be8l
  Replies (3) Good night (1731) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.

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  (315): He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left. http://tfl.nu/ssuu
  Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference

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  (612): I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference http://tfl.nu/y7l1
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (240)

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