ADVERTISEMENT

• (254): View more from Texas

  you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.

  Fav 18 969 4031

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You're 20.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

  Fav 149 11966 2596

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.

  Fav 7 1269 4596

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.

  Fav 12 3619 2177

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.

  Fav 20 3895 1270

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.

  Fav 3 1581 870

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  sorry

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  why?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?

  Fav 2 2709 998

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  He makes me want to shower. It must be love.

  Fav 4 1010 1227

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.

  Fav 9 2173 1179

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.

  Fav 10 1564 678

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon

  Fav 1 910 505

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.

  Fav 2 840 468

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice

  Fav 3 1477 565

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.

  Fav 1 633 492

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.

  Fav 0 336 115

  share tweet
  

Randomize